I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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