Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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