I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
