You can't motorboat a personality
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
