You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
