Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
