I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you made out with another girl for some wings
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
