Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
