we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
