JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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