how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
