its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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