dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yo dont text me then not text me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i now understand why vodka
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
