Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
