At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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