We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
