no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
