Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
