i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
