Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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