maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
