you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
