so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
