Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
