Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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