It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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