Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
