I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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