Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
