Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
