i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
