He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
