ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
