a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
