It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize