addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
