So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
