Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
worst night to have a conscience
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
