Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
