i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
