Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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