He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
