I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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