Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
