the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
