bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
