I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
