This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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