STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
