Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
