using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He kissed a someone with a penis
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
