I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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