Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
