i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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