We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
