I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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