next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
