Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i've created a new STD.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
