I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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