i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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