4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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