we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
