So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need water and some morals
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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