She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
