He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize