plz talk dirty to me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
