thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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