Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
