her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My vagina is very pro this idea
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
