he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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